While spring has the excitement and joy of the beginnings, autumn brings the anticipation of the gran finales. It’s a majestic season. Dramatic red hues, leaves falling off trees, days getting shorter and a cold and crispy wind starting to permeate the atmosphere. The seasonal shift is felt in no uncertain way. Autumn has always been the best season for me to reflect on my past experiences and the passing of time.
In my youth, I didn’t care about time, I was only looking ahead and middle age was a distant future. My 20s were exciting but with an underlying anxiety to “make it” before 30 – that meant, in my day, settling down with a husband. I “made it”, it didn’t last. I ticked boxes through my 30s until I reached breaking point at 38. In my willingness to make things happen I hadn’t realized that on most occasions I was just challenging myself unnecessarily and pursuing things that were incompatible with the life I wanted. On my 40s, the penny dropped.
Like puberty, middle age comes with some unsettling adjustments. Losing my wrinkle free face and going up a few sizes as hard at first, but I made peace with that. It’s to do with attitude as well. Youth demands a lifestyle that I no longer have. The vibe of my 20’s when I could fit all my possessions in a suitcase, used phone boxes, smoked everywhere, social media didn’t exist (Thank God) and Axl Rose was fit, is gone. I’m not there anymore but other, better treasures emerged.
There is immense power in being an adult in my prime. As adults, we are no longer amateurs in life. We say no with more authority. We can miss people and places without wanting them back. We are sharper, much harder to impress. These are amazing gifts. Our energy field changes as we evolve and there’s more to gain in embracing the new version of ourselves than denying the person we become the right to live an authentic life.
40 was my turning point. I left the job at 38, graduated as a counsellor at 39 and at 40 my work with the Tarot took a life of its own. Since them I’ve seen amazing places, met super interesting people and had incredible experiences. The timing was perfect; I reached a space where I was ready to enjoy life rather than spoil things out with unnecessary dramas and self sabotage. I’m not alone on this. There are many uplifting stories of ordinary people like me and you deciding to do things they never dared before after reaching 40s. Relocating, embarking on a new profession, adopting a new lifestyle, rediscovering love and letting go of heavier burdens. At this stage we have reached some solid conclusions about who we are and how we want to live. It’s a powerful place to be.
Autumn brings change and regeneration; by winter, only what’s meaningful will remain so that spring can start afresh on a renewed soil. The seasons are spices that Time sprinkled on to the Wheel Of Life to add different flavours to our existence. The flowers are beautiful but now they have to go so that we can receive the fruits that are indeed ripe. Nature always has new gifts for us. All we need is an open heart to accept them.